today’s mood is finding peace and solace in the knowledge that we have always existed. Khnumhotep and Niankhkhnum were buried together in a tomb decorated in paintings of their union- nose kisses, erotic embraces, and other illustrations paid homage to their love, which motivated them to be buried together as equals and compaions even in death. Sappho wrote at least 10,000 lines of poetry about her love of women. David and Jonathan met under the light of moon and loved one another more than either of them had ever loved any woman. Pedro Díaz and Muño Vandilaz were married in a Spanish church during the 9th century. James Barry, who by all accounts would most likely identify as transgender, was a successful, accomplished doctor throughout the 1800′s (and a bit of a casanova at that). Virginia Woolf loved her husband Leonard deeply, but it was only with Vita Sacksville-West that she could finally overcome a lifetime of sexual trauma and enter a fufilling romantic and sexual relationship with another person. When Oscar Wilde was on a Literary Rockstar Tour around the United States, he almost certainly hooked up with Walt Whitman. Willa Cather’s first sexual experience was with Gwendolyn Brooks and Emily Dickinson wrote love letters to women. One night F. Scott Fitzgerald leaned across the table between them and Ernest Hemingway allowed himself to be kissed. Billie Holiday had deeply passionate relationships with men and women. Frida Kahlo and Josephine Baker had an explosive and fantastic tryst in France. James Baldwin was as couragelously gay as he was valiantly black in a world that constantly tried to rob him of his god-given pride to be either. we have always existed. histories and governments and oppressors may have tried ardently to deny our rights and destroy our stories, but we have always existed: we the gender-queer or the gays or the bisexuals. we the brown or the jewish or the disabled. we the abuse survivors. we the singers, the writers, the creators. we lgbt+ and queer folk … we have been here since the dawn of human history and we are here to stay. when we love and live and exist as we are, we invoke a tradition with the greats…
DO YOU HAVE COMPANY COMING OVER, BUT YOUR HOUSE SMELLS LIKE SMOKE OR YOUR MOLD EXPERIMENTS OR CAT PISS OR SOME BULLSHIT LIKE THAT?
WELL SLAP MY ASS AND CALL ME BRILLIANT, BECAUSE THIS SHIT ISN’T EDIBLE, BUT IT’LL MAKE YOUR HOUSE SMELL LIKE A GODDAMN CHURCH CHOIR SINGING HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH IN YOUR NASAL PASSAGE! (YOU SHOULD GET RID OF WHATEVER’S STINKING UP YOUR HOUSE IN THE FIRST PLACE AS WELL, MORON)
RUN YOUR CLASSY ASS OVER TO THE STORE AND MAKE SURE YOU’RE PREPARED FOR THE MIND-FUCK OF THIS SHIT. YOU’LL WANT 1 ORANGE, A SMALL BAG OF CRANBERRIES, 3 CINNAMON STICKS, GROUND CLOVES, NUTMEG, 2 LEMONS, ROSEMARY AND VANILLA.
THERE ARE TWO VERSIONS OF THIS THAT YOU CAN COOK, BECAUSE CLASSY-ASS MOTHERFUCKERS NEED VARIETIES IN THEIR LIFE! THE FIRST IS ‘CHRISTMAS’ AND THE SECOND DOESN’T HAVE A DAMN NAME, BUT IT’S FUCKING WONDERFUL.
ONLY HAVE ONE POT OF THIS SHIT GOING, IT’S CRAZY POWERFUL.
“CHRISTMAS” CHOP UP THE ORANGE, SKIN AND ALL, BECAUSE YOU DON’T JOKE AROUND WITH THIS SORT OF SHIT. USE YOUR WARRIOR STRENGTH TO BREAK THE CINNAMON STICKS IN HALF, LIKE YOUR CHILDHOOD MEMORIES OF SNAPPING THE FEMURS OF DRAGONS BEFORE YOU SUCKED THE MARROW OUT. THROW THE ORANGE AND CINNAMON STICK PIECES INTO THE POT, OR IF YOU’RE NOT CONFIDENT WITH YOUR AIM, YOU CAN SET THEM GENTLY INSIDE. SHOVE A SMALL SPOONFUL OF NUTMEG AND A SMALL SPOONFUL OF CLOVES INTO THE POT.
THEN FILL THAT FUCKER UP WITH WATER UNTIL THERE’S ONLY AN INCH OF LEEWAY BETWEEN THE WATER AND EDGE, BECAUSE YOU’RE A DAREDEVIL MOTHERFUCKER.
NOW SET YOUR STOVE TO A LOW-MEDIUM SETTING, AND LEAVE IT SITTING THERE TO MARINATE IN IT’S OWN QUIET ACCEPTANCE OF DEATH. DON’T COVER THIS FUCKER, BECAUSE THE SMELL OF IT IS GOING TO INVADE YOUR ENTIRE GODDAMN HOUSE.
THAT WHICH WILL NOT BE NAMED
THE OTHER VERSION OF BOILING POTPOURRI ONLY HAS LEMONS, ROSEMARY SPRIGS AND VANILLA.
RIP THE LEMON INTO CHUNKS WHILE SOLVING THREE UNSOLVED MYSTERIES IN YOUR HEAD AND YELLING AT YOUR FLATMATE TO LEAVE YOUR OTHER EXPERIMENTS ALONE, THEN BE A CHAMPION BY NOT USING A MEASURING TOOL WHEN SPLASHING 1 TABLESPOON OF VANILLA INTO THE POT.
TOSS IN THE ROSEMARY SPRIGS AFTER YOU’VE STARED THEM INTO SUBMISSION. FILL THAT SUCKER WITH WATER AND PUT IT ON THE HEAT.
YOU LEAVE IT ON FOR 2 HOURS AT THE START OF THE DAY, THEN TURN IT ON AGAIN AN HOUR BEFORE GUESTS GET TO YOUR HOME AND LEAVE IT ON ALL EVENING. TAKE A WHIFF UP CLOSE EVERY FEW HOURS, BECAUSE THE FRUIT WILL START TO SMELL WEIRD AT THE END OF THE DAY AND THAT’S WHEN YOU TURN IT OFF.
WHEN YOUR GUESTS ARRIVE THEY’LL HAVE TO STEP BACK AND EXCLAIM “HOLY MOTHERFUCKING TITS, THIS IS ONE CLASSY HOME”
Not gonna lie, I’m mostly reblogging this because reading it is so thoroughly enjoyable.
I like haunted houses in theory BUT I have no idea how to react when the actors speak to you. They ask me a question and I just… answer it…
The scariest part of a haunted house is the unscripted social interaction.
Scary nurse in a creepy voice: “Do you have an appointment to see the doctor?”
Me: “Uh. Do you accept walk-ins?”
Scary farmer: “I like to kill people!”
My friend, brightly: “I like to die!”
Zombie : “AARRRGH”
Me : “Do you get dental insurance?”
Zombie : “TEETH!!”
This happened to me.
Scary prison dude: HELLO
Me: Nice to meet you!
Him: (pause) No it’s noooooot
My worst horror house experience was when I couldn’t find the (rather obvious) exit and the guy chasing me with a chainsaw stopped, sighed and pointed me to the exit, saying “please scream as loud as you can when you run out there” and just left. I disappointed the horror house chainsaw dude and I will never get over that
Guy: They are all my friends.. (motioning to hanging corpses; then grabs a noose) Will you be my friend? Me: Sure totally, you made me a friendship necklace? Oh my god your so sweet? Guy: … Yes.. Please, let me.. I cant I cant just go (laughing).
– Got to walk a second time through–
Same guy: My friends -wailing- Me: I came back I just really wanted to be friends so bad Guy: (laughing more) Please, Im not allowed to laugh.
I went to a Haunted House and literally befriended every actor there.
Specifically, I remember;
There were zombies walking around in the waiting room. I said “Hi!” and he gave me a high five. Every time he passed from then on, I got a high five.
Near the end, there were these twin little girls. “Come play with us.” They said. “Okay!” I said. “Forever.” They said. “Oh, sorry, can’t do that. I’m busy.”
I could hear them giggling.
Guy playing Freddie Kruger: Remember, you are all my children!
Me: thanks dad
A small chorus of teenagers: thanks dad
When I was in high school, I went to a haunted house with my father and one of the actors kept following me around. He just kept popping up. I thought it was funny, my dad was getting annoyed. Finally at the end, the actor was like “I’ll get you……..in math class” and he lifted up his mask and it was the kid that sat in front of me.
Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse is just one giant LGBTQ metaphor
All of them feeling like they’re the only one in the world/ at the end, describing how ‘it’s nice to know we’re not alone out there’
Miles running home to his dad after realising he’s got Spider-Powers and immediately asking whether he ‘really hates Spiderman’ aka a metaphor for kids tryna come out to their families
Spidersense is gaydar
Miles struggling w his identity, wanting to do & be one person but feeling forced into something he’s not
Every single one of them being a complete fucking disaster, thereby paralleling all LGBT folk ever
That one scene in Miles’ room where they’re all talking abt how being Spiderman comes with a price, then going thru a list of people they’ve ‘lost’ (My uncle, my dad, my best friend etc)- a metaphor for how being LGBTQ can often lead to losing people that you love bc they can’t accept u for who you are
This is fine and all, but Spider sense is in no way gaydar.
Yes it is Miles Morales said it himself in Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse
steve: i punched so many nazis… i spent years punching nazis, i went around the country punching hitler and singing showtunes… how are there still nazis? i kind of died to get rid of nazis and there are still nazis!
“jealousy is so disgusting” “anger is so toxic” did u know? these are emotions every human has
I’ve always been a fan of an analogy I heard once. Your emotions are like one of the lights on your car’s dash. When one of them turns on, it means you need to check under the hood and fix them. It’s not bad that the light turned on, per se, and it doesn’t always mean something is broken. But what IS toxic, dangerous, and likely to break something, is when you let that light stay on, pretending it’s normal, until that braking fluid finally fails and you crash into someone, or your engine fails completely.
Feel jealous. Feel anger.
Just don’t let it fester. You need to look inside of yourself, find out why you’re feeling the way you are, and bring yourself to a satisfied, stable state of mind. You can look at philosophy, meditation/introspection, religion, or actual therapy, or at least talking to someone about it. You’ll find you’re much more content and happy when you do something about those feelings, and come to some sort of conclusion or resolution.
That is a wonderful way of looking at it, thankyou. Makes me feel better about myself when I DO feel that way.
